寧願有夢

DURING the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year,
when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens,
I had been passing alone, on horseback,
through a singularly dreary tract of country;
and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on,
within view of the melancholy House of Usher.
I know not how it was;
but, with the first glimpse of the building,
a sense of insufferable gloom pervaded my spirit. (...)
I looked upon the simple landscape (...)
of the domain—upon the bleak walls — (...)
— upon a few white trunks of decayed trees—with an utter depression of soul (...).
There was an iciness, a sinking, a sickening of the heart— (...).

Original text of Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher"

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher. I know not how it was--but, with the first glimpse of the building, a sense of insufferable gloom pervaded my spirit. I say insufferable; for the feeling was unrelieved by any of that half-pleasurable, because poetic, sentiment, with which the mind usually receives even the sternest natural images of the desolate or terrible. I looked upon the scene before me--upon the mere house, and the simple landscape features of the domain--upon the bleak walls--upon the vacant eye-like windows--upon a few rank sedges--and upon a few white trunks of decayed trees--with an utter depression of soul which I can compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the after-dream of the reveller upon opium--the bitter lapse into everyday life-the hideous dropping off of the reveller upon opium--the bitter lapse into everyday life--the hideous dropping off of the veil. There was an iciness, a sinking, a sickening of the heart--an unredeemed dreariness of thought which no goading of the imagination could torture into aught of the sublime. What was it--I paused to think--what was it that so unnerved me in the contemplation of the House of Usher? It was a mystery all insoluble; nor could I grapple with the shadowy fancies that crowded upon me as I pondered. I was forced to fall back upon the unsatisfactory conclusion, that while, beyond doubt, there are combinations of very simple natural objects which have the power of thus affecting us, still the analysis of this power lies among considerations beyond our depth. It was possible, I reflected, that a mere different arrangement of the particulars of the scene, of the details of the picture, would be sufficient to modify, or perhaps to annihilate its capacity for sorrowful impression; and, acting upon this idea, I reined my horse to the precipitous brink of a black and lurid tarn that lay in unruffled lustre by the dwelling, and gazed down--but with a shudder even more thrilling than before--upon the remodelled and inverted images of the gray sedge, and the ghastly tree-stems, and the vacant and eye-like windows.

那年秋天，一個陰沉、昏暗、岑寂的日子，烏雲低垂，厚重地籠罩著大地。整整一天，我孤零零地騎著馬，馳過鄉間一片無比蕭索的曠野。暮色四合之際，令人憂傷的厄榭府終於遙遙在望。我也說不清是怎麼回事，一瞥見那座建築，心靈就充滿難以忍受的憂傷。說難以忍受，是因為往常即便到了荒蠻之所或可怕的慘境，遇到那種無比嚴苛的自然景象，也難免有幾分詩意，甚而生出幾分喜悅；如今，這股憂傷的感覺卻總是揮之不去。我愁腸百結地望著眼前的景物。我望著孤單的府邸和莊園裡單一的山水風貌，望著荒涼的垣牆、空洞的眼睛一樣的窗子、三五枝氣味難聞的蘆葦、幾株枯木白花花的樹幹——心裡真是愁苦至極，愁苦得俗世的情感已無法比擬，只有與染阿芙蓉癖者夢迴以後的感覺作比，才足夠貼切——苦痛流為日常，醜惡的面紗也摘除而去。我的心直翻騰，還冷冰冰地往下沉，淒涼得無可救贖，任是再有刺激人的想像力，也難說這是心靈的昇華。究竟的怎麼了？我思忖起來。到底是什麼原因，使得我在註目厄謝府時如此不能自控？這是個破解不了的謎。沉思間，模糊的幻想湧滿心頭，卻又無從捉摸。我只得退而求其次，自圓其說罷了——簡單的自然景物湊在一起，確實有左右人情緒的力量，但要剖析這種感染力，即便費盡心機，也是無跡可尋。我思量道，這片景物中的一草一木，一山一水只消在細微處佈置得稍有不同，帶給人的那種悲傷的感覺，可能就會減輕，或許會歸於消泯。這種念頭一起，我策馬奔至山中小湖的險岸邊。小湖就傍著宅第，湖面泛著光澤，卻一絲漣漪都沒有，黑黢黢，陰森森，倒映出變形的灰色蘆葦、慘白樹幹、空洞眼睛一樣的窗子。我俯視著湖面，渾身顫抖，比剛才的感覺還要奇怪。